Today’s guest blogger was George Pick, famous author, poet and knish assembler under 5 different Presidential Administrations
 
Options?  In my day we called them choices.
 
Choices.…so many choices…who needs them all…I like elevators and keys…its either up or down or in and out…nothing complex…no thinking…we all know how to in and out or up and down…
 
Do we really need 128 cable stations so I can digest some cerebral stimulation from the likes of Snookie, Kim and the brilliant Pawn Star..Chumley…Oh how the world has progressed…Grandpa would have been so happy….LED technology was surely not created so we can spend our evenings being absorbed by reality shows….well at least that is how they are titled….” I asked her her name she said blah-blah-blah…she had 9/10 pants and a very big bra” O.K. I’m back…
 
Olive OilMy wife said we needed oil so I offered to pick some up at the market…hey how difficult could it be…it’s just oil…by the way there are some lovely ladies that are so willing to assist a lost puppy dog looking for oil in the wrong isle…so I found the oil…there was regular oil…olive oil…corn oil…vegetable oil…canola oil….pure oil…virgin oil and EXTRA VIRGIN OIL…I only wanted to see two types of oil…the large can and the small can…. I came to the conclusion that there was no way I was putting previously touched oil on my food…..I went with the Virgin…but should I go with the Virgin or the extra virgin….what makes an oil earn the right to be EXTRA virgin and how do you get from being a regular virgin to something extra….then I wondered how it would effect me by being the first one to open the can…in any event I went with the EXTRA virgin….I guess that is when you have a virgin and there is another one waiting just in case……” Hah Hah…let me clear my throat” 
 
Why does a Chinese take-out need 60 items on the menu and why do we even read the menu…the menu needs 5 items..EGG ROLL…WONTON SOUP…SPARE RIBS…CHICKEN n BROCCOLI and CHICKEN WINGS….then 10 minute would become 5 minute….we go to order Chinese food and demand to look at the menu…we look it over for 20 minutes and what do we order…chicken n broccoli..wonton soup and an egg roll…c’mon you know it happens 90% of the time….too many choices..once again… 
 
Who discovered “The Den” I never had a den growing up…where did the den come from…did somebody say I have too much stuff in my living room so I need a den….I grew up in a small 1 bedroom Brooklyn apartment and was quite grounded and happy without a den…here’s a revelation..we watched TV in the living room sitting on the crisp plastic that encompassed all our furniture…we never really touched that furniture with our flesh….we were just glued to the plastic…why do you have furniture that you cannot touch…we will leave that for another day..I digress…more choices..do I watch TV in the den…living room…the basement man cave…the bedroom…the bathroom…we had one TV…now 5 is not enough…and I slept with my brother on the Castro convertible which was nestled in the corner of our dining room…A DEN …
 
I have reached the time in my life where my worst fears are happening at a fast and feverish pace…no not heart issues although I have them…no not losing my hair…the thing I feared the most…I have hair growing out of my ears…I hate that stuff more than anything…what purpose could that have and if hair can grow like vines from my ear then why can’t I grow new hair on my head…Lord knows my head can use it much more than my ears…I hope I never have to do a comb-over in my ears…Truth be told I cut my ears at least once a week…maybe I should not be allowed to have sharp objects which can lead to some bleeding in my shaky hands…I am on three blood thinners and it would be devastating to bleed to death due to ear hair…how embarrasing of a headline that would be….then again I should be thankful there are two inches seperating the inner part of my eyebrows…weird stuff happens with hair when you age…it sort of never leaves you,it just repositions itself without asking. This is one time you should have some choices….
“I started throwin’ bass, she started throwin’ back mid-range….but when I sprung the question she started acting strange  ” O.K. I’m back…
 
Why do we need NASDAQ, Dow , S&P 500, American…The Dow was up today but the techs dragged down the NASDAQ and the S&P dipped under 1210…but now the Dow is down as earnings from Big Blue were below the street estimate and a surge from Apple sent the NASDAQ soaring….Too much confusion can’t get no relief…Why can’t we have one headliner…either the market is up or the market is down as a whole…why all the choices…too many things to track on my screen…it’s enough that I have 5 different watch lists with 60 ticker symbols on each…more choices that I do not need but I have them…Why is it that when I own 5 NASDAQ tickers that the Dow is soaring and the NASDAQ cannot be found…oh yeah diversify..yeah that’s it..diversify…you need many choices in your portfolio..just in case… “You,you got what I need but you say he’s just a friend and you say he’s just a friend,oh baby…You,you got what I need but you say he’s just a friend”
 
O.K. I’m back….
 
We all have choices in life and one of the greatest times in my life was when I chose to go cruisin to the drive- in with Szelhamos and little Szelhamos…there were not that many choices in those days…one movie..no multiplex and no $7. popcorn bucket…how did we ever survive….cruisin with a bunch of Hungarians named George or Alex…I think those were the only names that Hungarians could choose from…I think George Forman must be Hungarian…doesn’t he have 7 boys..all named George… 
 
I am a child of Holocaust survivors and although I joke about choices….it is a great thing to have choices…I know those Holocaust survivors wish that they had choices….how lucky we all are to have the ability to decide what we want….choice is a great thing….now after typing all this where do I put it….my new H.P. laptop came without WORD…bad choice on my part… should have gone with Apple…more choices….
 
” You,you got what I need but you say he’s just a friend and you say he’s just a friend, oh baby…You.you got…
 
ENJOY…YEAH…YEAH…
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 






Click here for reuse options!
Copyright 2011 TheAcsMan